Monogamy is a parasitic gameworld.
You may be hosting this parasite.
No one can heal from Monogamy for you.
More interestingly, no one can stop you from escaping it.
The 3 Phase Healing from Monogamy process removes you from the condition rather than trying to remove the condition from you.
Are you ready?
What Is Monogamy Really?
Monogamy is a Memetic Construct - a set of ideas that lock together into structure.
You think that because you can understand the Memetic Construct, this makes the Construct true.
You forget that not everything that is understandable is true...
If you consign yourself to Monogamy, you give the Memetic Construct power over your life.
Then you do not have power. The Memetic Construct has power.
Then you cannot be Present as you. Only the Memetic Construct can be Present.
You try to give your responsibility over to the Memetic Construct. Its rules decide your behavior.
You become a fanatical religious fundamentalist. You are a slave of the dogma.
You Assume that you do not have to think or feel anymore. You Assume that you cannot be blamed.
You then become a prisoner inside of the Memetic Construct of Monogamy.
The Memetic Construct feeds on your life. It is a vampire.
Those who enforce the Memetic Construct make profit. (Lawyers, Judges, Bankers, Priests)
A Gameworld is a Memetic Construct created from an agreed-upon Context prescribing behaviors and interactions that are formally or informally documented in the Gameworld's Rules Of Engagement.
If you change even one Distinction in the Context, or one Rule Of Engagement, you create an entirely new Gameworld.
Think of the Gameworld of 'money'. If you change the Money Rules Of Engagement so that it is allowed for you to print money at home, the Money Gameworld would work entirely different.
Or if you change the rules of soccer so that each team can have one animal on their side, or there are two balls at play, or if every time a goal is made the team that makes the goal gives the opposing team one of their players, you create entirely new Gameworlds.
Or if you change the rules at the Post Office so that the person who wears the most attractive clothes gets to go next to the counter, or the person who shouts the loudest about the urgency of their parcel delivery gets to go next, or the person willing to make the largest bribe goes next, you would make a different Post Office.
One of the defining characteristics of human beings, since the beginning, is that we interact with each other through Cultural Gameworlds.
A Cultural Gameworld specifies that types of clothing, tattoos or regalia fit to which occasion, tribal position and social class, taboos or requirements for female / male interactions, meals that are prepared and songs that are sung or danced in which festivals or ceremonies, how to grow, prepare and store foods, how houses are built and cared for, beliefs about death, nature and the gods, how groups make decisions, how to relate to other Cultural Gameworlds, what constitutes learning, initiation into adulthood, and the initiatory path, etc.
For example, Language is a Cultural Gameworld. If you and someone else use the same Language Rules Of Engagement, you can communicate quite easily, compared to if you do not share the grammar, vocabulary, alphabet, and sentence-structure of a Language. One of the first questions asked for successful human interactions is, "Which language shall we speak together?" This includes spoken as well as programming languages. Taking it a step further, it includes the Buttons, Hooks, Triggers, Traumas, Habits, Interpretations, Meanings, Values, Customs, etc. of your Psychological Defense Strategy... your Box.
Cultural Gameworlds often contradict each other, even if we are all the same species of monkey.
Contradicting Gameworlds can either be a source of religious-feuds with life-or-death war and cannibalism, or they can be the source of endlessly fascinating entertainment and eye-opening new Possibilities (Box Expansion).
Cultural Gameworlds rarely die of their own accord, for example, through old age, or running out of ideas. Cultural Gameworlds do evolve, but slowly, usually only between generations, sometimes referred to as 'the generation gap'.
If you are born into a Cultural Gameworld that remains rather consistent during your youth and adolescence, there is not much chance you will ever escape the Memetic prison of that Cultural Gameworld.
This means you have little chance of becoming adult, and even less chance of becoming a 'global citizen', a Free And Natural Adult human being helping to regenerate Gaia and the Earth. You will instead keep playing out the 'tapes' and 'programs' that are the Standard Human Intelligence Thoughtware (S.H.I.T.) used by your parents, and their parents before them. What that means today - where the necessity of rapid cultural evolution is so gigantic - is that you will be part of the 'problem' rather than part of the 'evolution'.
If your childhood culture was not stable and consistent, for example, if your parents moved around a lot, or moved into a 'foreign culture', different from your birth culture, and you went to different schools, celebrated different holidays, made friends with the locals and spoke their language, ate with them at their table, learned their songs and dances, wore their clothing, went to their funerals... then you discovered 'Cultural Relativity', which in short says that all cultures and religions, laws, traditions, and beliefs are Bullshit, fictions fabricated out of nothing.
As Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - the author of Cat's Cradle and The Sirens Of Titan wrote: "A first grader should understand that her or his culture is not a rational invention; that there are thousands of other cultures and they all work pretty well; that all cultures function on faith rather than truth; that there are lots of alternatives to our own society... Cultural Relativity is defensible, and attractive. It's a source of hope. It means we don't have to continue this way if we don't like it."
By discovering deep down that even your birth culture is Bullshit in every respect - even at its core - you gain a basis for respecting all cultures for exactly what they are. You discover your essential capacity as a human being to play and co-create in the domain of Cultural Gameworlds. You can then easily reclaim your Authority and freedom of Choice in circumstances where most people remain stuck in one of the 8 Prisons. You become a Cultural Creative.
Your job becomes building out and inhabiting regenerative Archearchal Culture Gameworld Space, so that others - who may not be Gameworld Builders - have a chance to take the steps across a Bridge to shift from Patriarchy to Archearchy.
This implies that, "You do not change things by fighting against the existing [Cultural] Gameworlds. You change things by building and inhabiting new [Cultural] Gameworlds that make the existing [Cultural] Gameworlds irrelevant."
Believing that you can get out of a Cultural Gameworld to the degree that you can leave it behind and forget about it probably means that you are entering a Fantasy World... thinking, "I am free of my birth culture!" This is not recommended, because a Fantasy World functions as a form of Denial. It suppresses or represses, but does not replace.
Far more effective is to Invent and move into new Gamespace. This way you are not trying to create and maintain a war against your behaviors, trying to say "No!" to years of unconscious habitual behavior. Instead you are saying "Yes!" to a new behavior, exploring new possibilities. You move your Point Of Origin into a new Context rather than trying to move your Point Of Origin into the emptiness and boredom of being a 'nice girl' or 'good boy'.
Between 10,000 years ago and 6,000 years ago as the last big Ice Age was ending and climate conditions were warming and drying out around the world, villagers learned how to domesticate animals, grow crops, and store food for the winter. To accomplish these 'miracles' it became useful to put up fences to keep the animals in and walls to keep the marauding raiders out. Suddenly the surface of the Earth was being divided up into plots and measured in acres or hectares. This allowed land to be taxed by the hierarchical ruling structure that formed to 'control' and 'protect' properties.
Inheritance laws were created to answer the question, "Who owns the land?" If partners were not married, then they each represented a different family who would fight over land ownership after one or both partners died. Since the emerging 'modern culture' gameworld was capitalist, patriarchal, empire, in a marriage, the woman would take the man's last name, and only the men could have title to land ownership. Formal life-long marriage became a legal custom of convenience for the land-holding nobles in the government because the ownership of the land could be passed down in the rich landlord's family.
Marriage is also a convenience for the capitalist, patriarchal, empire gameworlds called 'churches' because as people's awareness and tastes evolve, or they grow to love more people, when they break any of the strict rules of the 'holy sacrament of marriage' in the name of 'God', they become 'sinners'. If a 'sinner' bows his head and pays a certain amount of penance in cold hard cash to the Priests, they can then 'escape an eternity of punishment in purgatory or hell'. 'Saving sinners' has became such a profitable business enterprise that it was even worth exporting and opening open up the African, Asian, and South American franchises!
Even today in the 21st Century it is common practice in France, for example, to have two weddings! A marriage at the town hall and also a marriage at the local church, both with signed legal papers and witnesses. People mostly follow this marriage custom without thinking about the consequences, and with over 750,000 divorces each year in the USA and over 800,000 divorces each year in Europe, divorce lawyers and judges are wringing their hands with glee all the way to the bank.
People naturally explore various forms of romantic and sexual partnerships.
Marriage is a legal, religious, and social contract that defines and limits the kinds of relating the partners can experience.
Human beings have invented names for a number of different marital agreements.
The above list describes some of the forms of relating in the capitalist patriarchal empire of modern culture. Relating is complex because human beings are complex. Many factors impact whether a marriage or partnership lasts through the years: for example, timing of evolutionary steps, lifestyle preferences, cultural pressures, social status, personal desires for 'wealth' or 'freedom', sexual compatibility, personalities, and so much more.
In many cases, the style of relating that make you the happiest may be different than what you initially envisioned.
It is informative to know that none of the above styles of relating are Radical Relating or Archeamory from Archearchy, because none of the above styles of relating distinguish, either conceptually or experientially:
...whereas Archeamory very specifically does distinguish between these things. This differentiates Archeamory from all of modern culture's 122 ways of creating ordinary relating.
Here are 12 common but often unnegotiated Rules Of Monogamy:
From the viewpoint of Archearchal Culture is unbelievably insane that in Monogamy it is allowed to:
Heal From Monogamy
Monogamy is advertised as the only sane, sacred form of relationship. If you ever try or even contemplate any experiment that would move you outside of the Monogamy Box, you can observe how strong this imprint is by the amount of reactivity these movements would create.
You are expected to be in a monogamous relationship to demonstrate that you are a responsible adult who is not afraid to commit.
Any relationship can be used to either numb yourself and avoid responsibility, or can be used for courageous confrontation with your shadow principles and healing of your deepest, Patriarcal wounds. This goes for Monogamy as well as forms of Non-Monogamy.
You can be in a Monogamous relationship because of your emotional fear of being alone, because of the unconscious satisfaction you get out of 'owning' a high quality specimen of the relationship material market, or without even knowing why, just because your parents and other people were in a 'relationship'. You can also choose to be in a Monogamous relationship as an Experiment to learn about what it is to commit to another person's commitment and as a way to practice sourcing Love and Responsibility.
QUESTIONS AND HEALING PROCESSES FROM AN EDGEWORKER'S NON-MONOGAMY EXPERIMENT
I am married. It was for papers, but energetically it seems that it created something. I was committed and glad to be in this relationship. We were clear that we wanted to be together until we would be old, and that we were a Team. There was a non-negotiated assumption that this probably meant we would not sexually be together with anyone.
There was beauty in our relationship. There was also adaptiveness on my side and a gremlin destroying and avoiding intimacy on his side. There was I who twisted myself in any shape to support him with his plans in the hope that this self-sacrifice would lead to him softening and loving me - herewith treading in the footsteps of my mother and her mother. There was a deep longing for more Emotional Intimacy and a false acceptance of this not happening between us. There was an incapacity of being really Present with me, on his side - therewith treading in the footsteps of most fathers and men before us.
When I met a Man with whom there was the possibility for Extraordinary Intimacy that I had not managed creating in my relationship for 2,5 years, I transparently negotiated to spend time intimately and sexually with the other man, and am since then dealing with the consequences in the form of all the questioning, all the Emotions and all the Healing that came from that.
EMOTIONAL HEALING PROCESSES DURING THIS EXPERIMENT WERE:
QUESTIONS DURING THIS EXPERIMENT WERE: